Why do we do this? Do we fear being alone? I struggle to believe that... well, at least I don't hope so! Many people are quite well off being alone, probably not forever, but long enough to wait for the right person to swing into their lives. This is mostly true for people whom aren't in relationships I guess; they have nothing to loose and can focus on improving their lives as it is.
Next up, we have the crazy desperate types whom will do anything to have someone 'of their own', as they believe this is the only way to improve their lives. I find this quite strange, as meeting your life partner is very coincidental, don't you think? It's not like you can force it. It happens, when it happens and it's completely out of our control. "Fucking universe", you might say... but you are largely to blame for this.
Just because you meet the person of your dreams, doesn't mean the timing of it all is great. The two of you might be in two different parts of your lives, making it impossible to have a healthy relationship. A simple example of this would be meeting this person while he/she is seeing someone else... don't fool yourself idiot, it's a no go! Let it be until the time is right. If this never happens, it was never meant to be for you. Stop filling your head with bullshit and move on. He/she, wasn't the one, but the person you are looking for is still out there! Being free of hang-ups and being available, is the key.
I met a friend in London a few years ago whom gave me some of the best relationship advice I would ever come to find: "If it's wrong, move on". The longer we stay hung-up about something which we know isn't working, regardless of our effort to make it work; the less time we spend ready to meet someone new. You could meet someone at anytime, anywhere - and you know this. You'll miss lots of opportunities if you are stuck as a hung-up sour-face.
As for forcing something to work, not good at all... in fact - it's horrible. Stop it you control freak. Let go! Move on... believe it or not, by doing this, you might even salvage the situation. Relationships are tough enough as it is, especially when two people don't know each other well. Trying to make something into what it isn't just puts more strain on the relationship. You'll loose yourself whilst forcing your partner to change, all because you are afraid... afraid to accept that this isn't working, this isn't the person for you; afraid to go back to the drawing board to try again. Loosing yourself, isn't a way to be in a relationship - you have to be stronger and uplift a relationship instead of wearing it down.
Not all plans work out on the first try. We'll never grow without making mistakes. If you really want to make it work, don't make it complicated... tear down your expectations, accept people for whom they are... and you just might find what you are looking for.
