State of Mind

It's only natural for any of us to feel important in some way, we need it to move forward and feel good about ourselves in everyday life. A feeling of importance can be anything from being important to people, being loved by many or simply being good at something.

I find myself wondering from time to time, if I am where I should be... truly happy? I believe that looking up, not caring about the bad, staying positive and persevering through everything life throws at us, is the best way to live. Although I still feel this is true, we should definitely not let this be at the cost of who we are. Having a great state of mind should walk hand in hand with who you are.

In some dire cases, people will need to force themselves to act happy. In the beginning, it will feel fake, annoying and silly. Here you might want to skrew the act and go back to being a sad sucker, although I will gladly smack you in the face if so. If you want change, you better have the balls to put in the effort. Anything worthwhile requires effort and Happiness is not an exception.

"Whaaaat???? You mean the World doesn't owe me happiness?" /facepalm.

Now, we have to ask... how do we balance a great state of mind along with being truly happy and sincere to our feelings? How do we obtain a sound state of mind, shut out and fight off these bullshit feelings of inadequacy? ... Goals.

Don't bullshit me by saying you have no dreams and 'going with the flow is the way to go' - get off the crackpipe Jack, you're lying to yourself. Focus on your goals and make a sincere effort towards achieving them. Look to yourself and not onto others as a judge of whom and where you should be. Waiting around will only make you weaker; instead, grow and be ready for the world to take you upon a journey of a lifetime.

Follow your heart, focus on your goals. Trying is free and perseverance a necessity.

"I'll leave you with this motivational poster... maybe you should put it on your wall ;)"

If it's wrong, move on.

I guess we all cling to things in life, especially when it comes to other people. We tend to overlook the logic staring at us, clinging to some hope and possible improvement without action. Sometimes we cling to these things to such an extent, we completely loose ourselves during this ridiculous quest to make things better... or rather, into something they aren't meant to be.

Why do we do this? Do we fear being alone? I struggle to believe that... well, at least I don't hope so! Many people are quite well off being alone, probably not forever, but long enough to wait for the right person to swing into their lives. This is mostly true for people whom aren't in relationships I guess; they have nothing to loose and can focus on improving their lives as it is.

Next up, we have the crazy desperate types whom will do anything to have someone 'of their own', as they believe this is the only way to improve their lives. I find this quite strange, as meeting your life partner is very coincidental, don't you think? It's not like you can force it. It happens, when it happens and it's completely out of our control. "Fucking universe", you might say... but you are largely to blame for this.

Just because you meet the person of your dreams, doesn't mean the timing of it all is great. The two of you might be in two different parts of your lives, making it impossible to have a healthy relationship. A simple example of this would be meeting this person while he/she is seeing someone else... don't fool yourself idiot, it's a no go! Let it be until the time is right. If this never happens, it was never meant to be for you. Stop filling your head with bullshit and move on. He/she, wasn't the one, but the person you are looking for is still out there! Being free of hang-ups and being available, is the key.

I met a friend in London a few years ago whom gave me some of the best relationship advice I would ever come to find: "If it's wrong, move on". The longer we stay hung-up about something which we know isn't working, regardless of our effort to make it work; the less time we spend ready to meet someone new. You could meet someone at anytime, anywhere - and you know this. You'll miss lots of opportunities if you are stuck as a hung-up sour-face.

As for forcing something to work, not good at all... in fact - it's horrible. Stop it you control freak. Let go! Move on... believe it or not, by doing this, you might even salvage the situation. Relationships are tough enough as it is, especially when two people don't know each other well. Trying to make something into what it isn't just puts more strain on the relationship. You'll loose yourself whilst forcing your partner to change, all because you are afraid... afraid to accept that this isn't working, this isn't the person for you; afraid to go back to the drawing board to try again. Loosing yourself, isn't a way to be in a relationship - you have to be stronger and uplift a relationship instead of wearing it down.

Not all plans work out on the first try. We'll never grow without making mistakes. If you really want to make it work, don't make it complicated... tear down your expectations, accept people for whom they are... and you just might find what you are looking for.

The Best Advice to the Right Decision

Decisions, decision... they can be a real bitch to make. You'll find yourself approaching friends, family or even complete strangers for advice on making a decision. Somehow, they always seem to help, even in situations where he/she might not have the full insight or understanding of the situation. wtf?

Deep down inside your gray haven, you know what you really want. Even if it's on a subconscious level, you have that knowledge hidden away. All we really need, is a good reason... justification if you will, some facts behind our fiction; in most cases, clear up the 'love goggles' you've got on. Once you have good reasoning accompanied by another person's opinion, you'll feel like you are making a good decision. This neat little dragon, has two tails:

• It's quite odd... we know just what to say when others come to us for advice; we don't even need a moment to ponder on it - it just comes flowing out. Why? You don't need to carry the consequences of this decision being discussed. You think freely, fluently and logically. You are not inside the box.
  
• Secondly, have you ever wondered why they've approached you? Because you are cool? Lol! It's because they know on some subconscious level, you will give them what they want. Whether if that advice may be good or bad, sincere or untruthful, wise or reckless. If you would like a real and honest opinion on a matter, you'll talk to the people whom will give it to you without the icing on the cake. It all comes down to what you really want in your heart. 

As for great advice - where do we find it? Well, great advice comes from great people. Do you know anyone great? You should... they live in a mirror. That's right Einstein! You have great advice. You won't always be inside the box; it's valuable to write down your own ideas from time to time, it will force your gray matter to think about them and grow them. This will lead to better ideas, better advice - maybe to help others, but mostly for yourself to follow.

People let ideas flow through their minds like fish through a river; if you don't put up a net, you won't catch anything. Reading over your own thoughts will make you rethink everything, possibly change your complete perspective. Sometimes this will lead you into making confident decisions without seeking advice. Sounds like the type of person I'd want to be :)

Ego vs. Ego

Put your pride in your pocket? Hell no! Unless it would resolve in something nasty, you have no reason to hide any of your pride. Are you egotistical? No? You should be. I don't know what you were told growing up, I was taught about the evil of ego and why you shouldn't have one. I guess it's why most people turn out like sheep following the herd. Were you taught that you are special and different from others? If you believe that, why shouldn't your ego reflect that?

In my opinion, not having an ego is a BAD thing! The first things I would want anyone to have is an ego! A positive outlook on yourself and the impact you have on life around you. It will affect everything else you do in a positive way. Whenever you are questioned about yourself, you shouldn't hesitate before replying with a positive answer! If you were asked whether if you are ready to take on a task, whom would like to say "No, I don't think I am ready" or "Um, I don't know..." - does this type on uncertainty attract you? Whom would rather say "I was born ready baby!" or "Bring it on bitch!" with a fat smile and shining confidence? "Not me... I would rather be a looser thanks" is what some people might say in reply to my question, not in those exact words I guess; whatever they do come up with as an excuse, is pretty much the same.

The evil and the good; the big, the HUGE fact people overlook when explaining Ego: There are two sides to the story! Good vs. Bad ego.

Bad ego is where you point out yourself as being better than others. This type of ego is most common in people and also the main reason why people despise it. Unless you can handle having enemies, avoid this ego - you don't need it. Gaining a feeling of importance from breaking down others is a false sense of greatness, leading towards deeper unhappiness and need for more condescension of others. It's a bad loop to be in.

Good ego is where you point out yourself as a great person, which you are! If you are ever questioned about yourself, you should always answer in instant and sincere positivity. There is no reason for anyone to be ashamed of whom they are. You are wasting your life if you do. Being positive in your response to everyone & everything around you will instantly make you feel and be great, it will give others a good opinion of you - some might even earn some respect for you. How you let yourself feel around others is how others will feel about you. The people who care, don't matter; The people who matter, don't care.

Have an ego about yourself, you deserve to have one just as much as everyone else. Carry your pride on your shoulders, regardless of what has happened in the past. Life doesn't wait for you to catchup... it keeps going. Don't get left behind.

"Always remember, no matter how bad you are, you are not totally useless. You can always be used as a bad example"  - Even rock bottom has some light :)

I am awesome. So dear reader, please tell me in the comments below: are you?